Matt Bower – The Sherman Oaks Review of Books

Author: Matt Bower

LInt: The Literature of the Internet

An Oral History of the “Maestro Marty the De-Composer” Carcass in the Tuckersfield, OH Spook Central

Chet Burks (Spook Central clerk): I’ve been picking up after Spook Central customers for the last 11 Halloweens since graduating with a BA in Philosophy. Half-opened boxes of Hellraiser party lights,..

Essays

Our Popular Family Vlog Is Postponed Indefinitely Due To All Kinds Of Shit Going On Right Now

Hey, hey! A big Jensen hello to our faithful 1.2 million Jammin’ With the Jensens subscribers out there in YouTube land. It’s me, Todd Jensen, Dad-Ass..

Essays

Bipartisan Blood Donorship Can Save A Bleeding America

Reginald Q. Person III is the very wealthy CEO of a thriving corporation and a frequent editorial contributor to Our Foaming Fathers: America’s Most Rabidly..

Essays

Our Music Used To Be About The Car Commercials, Man

What happened to the music? What have we become? Johnny Logo® and the Trademarks™ used to be about car commercial guitar riffs and personal injury..

Essays

I Am the Victor Frankenstein of 4chan: Behold, the Super Ultra Mega Meme™

I know what it takes to DEVASTATE Jared Kushner to where he can’t scale the Washington Monument fast enough to launch himself headlong toward the..

Essays

Ever Since Burt Lost Everything in the Fire, He’s Been a Drag on the Mutha’ Yukkers Improv Troupe

Fellow Mutha’ Yukkers. We need to talk about Burt. Ever since he lost everything in the house fire, his stage performances have been less “yuk,..

Essays

We Don’t Need Gun Control. We Need Horace the Jitterbugging Nitwit Back In Our School.

The second the school board decided that our beloved mascot Horace the Jitterbugging Nitwit was no longer allowed in East Williamsport Middle School, they practically..

LInt: The Literature of the Internet

Amazon HB2 Invites Your City To Be Blown To Smithereens

Amazon invites your city to submit a response to this Request for Proposal. Amazon is undertaking a spirited selection process and considering which North American..

Essays

I’m The Dolphin Who Saved A Human From A Shark Attack, But I Don’t Begrudge Those Dolphins Who Find Catharsis In a Good Ol’ Fashioned Mauling

Yes, I saved a surfer from being chomped into mushy human flotsam by a bull shark. I heard my story even became internet click bait,..

Essays

Please, Please, Come For My Guns After I Pissed Away So Much Of My Life Hiding Them

For God’s sake, come for my guns. Come get ‘em. Someone…anyone. I’m begging you. Come for my guns. I can’t let a decade’s worth of..

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