In the Stephen Sondheim/John Weidman musical Pacific Overtures, Japan is dragged into the 19th century by the arrival at its shores of ships from the U.S. seeking trade. In one scene, the ships bide their time in the bay while the Shogun temporizes about accepting, reading, and acting on an official letter they have arrived to deliver. The song “Chrysanthemum Tea,” sung by the Shogun’s mother, depicts her attempt to persuade him to show some resolve and take some action, and what occurs when he fails to do so. Hear it here and follow along with the (typically fantastic) lyrics here.
Yes, we know: It’s a lot of work. But it’s worth it. Now you’re ready to read (and, ideally, sing along with) this.
BANNON:
It’s the Day of the Mon-, oh Trump
Though the week’s just beginning
We’re already tired of winning
When we see what you’ve done, oh Trump
First when Flynn went away, O Trump
Once you tried muscling Comey
When he left and he went home, he
Wrote a memo to say
How you tried to use your sway
In a most illegal way
Now our enemies go “yay,”
And an awful situation’s
Getting worse by the day, O Trump
KFC, O Trump
Have a bucket or three
It’s a dish
That’s delish
Regular or crispy
Was it adequately yummy
To the Presidential tummy
Then let’s think of the press, O Trump
Let’s send out Mr. Spicey
He’s our man when things get dicey
Let him clean up the mess, O Trump.
SEAN SPICER:
“The FBI exists within
The Department of Justice”
The Constitution
“And Justice is subsumed within
The Cabinet of POTUS”
The Constitution
It follows that the President
Can boss the Bureau’s bosses
That’s our solution…?
(Indecipherable yelling in the White House West Wing)
BANNON:
It’s the Day of the Tues-, O Trump
While you yell at the teevee
And you’re tweeting something skeevy
I’ve some more nasty news, O Trump.
To begin, why the fuck
Gave you intel to those Russians
The CIA is stuck
And there’s other repercussions
Did your mind run amuck
After playing in that truck?
Do you think that you can shuck
Your way out of the muck?
Now the Dems are feeling luck-
Y, yes, and Israel thinks you suck.
And the right says you’re a cuck, O Trump.
KFC, O Trump
In a box I just bought
Have a thigh
While we try
To repair what you’ve wrought.
Do not talk. Just be nice, O Trump
Won’t you listen to Jared
He’s a sneaky little bastard
And he’s just as smart as you are
When you’re sober when he’s plastered.
Kindly take his advice, O Trump.
JARED KUSHNER:
This is
A war
We indisputably are
The good guys.
Fight on!
To the death!
Call yourself with your last breath
Patriots.
Ahhhh— Fight until you fall!
Stand until you fold.
I’d help but have, truth be told
A cold.
(Indecipherable yelling in the White House West Wing)
BANNON:
It’s the Day of the Thurs-, O Trump.
Now a new urgent crisis
Brings us rising stakes and prices
There’s a man who’s been sought
And I don’t think he’ll be bought
And he’ll do what he ought
He’s the Independent Counsel
And when he decides to pounce’ll
Be when we’ll all be caught, O Trump.
KFC, O Trump
Eat it hand over fist
Go and splurge on your urge
Have some more, I insist
Let’s consult with Ivanka
She’ll have words of consolation
And we all will say “danke”
As she calms our agitation
And things won’t be so fraught, O Trump.
IVANKA TRUMP-KUSHNER
I’m here
I’m here
I will endure long
After you’ve gone.
I’m here
I’m here
Here to inherit
All you leave after.
I’m here
I’m here
I’m here
(Indecipherable yelling in the White House West Wing)
BANNON:
It’s the Day of the Fri-, O Trump
I don’t know if you notice
But you’ve been an awful POTUS
From the time you’d begun
On the Day of the Mon-
Here’s a Fact that is Fun, O Trump-
When I came here to work
And could tell you’re a jerk
And I saw this was a Herc-
Ulean task and quite berserk
I decided your cholesterol
Could be my big salvation
At your worst and at your best you’re al-
Ways tempted by temptation
And you’d eat what I gave, O Trump
To an in-timely grave, O Trump
KFC, O Trump
Yes, your favorite treat
What a torture to supply you,
What a pain to watch you eat
Still, it’s good for finger lickin’
And you’re such a fan of boffin’
Just Keep Fucking that Chicken
And you’ll end up in a coffin
Want to share in a laugh, O Trump
Let the last paragraph, O Trump
Say it’s all for the best
Better cardiac arrest
Than arrest for the staff, O Trump
O Trump…
(Trump dies)
The blossom falls on the mountain.
The mountain falls on the blossom.
All things fall.
Danny Choo
http://tinyurl.com/q5bfg63
