- One of the most pressing questions people today ask is, why?
1.1. Another just as often one is, how?
These are good, separate points. Never has there been a better time to ask them, or, shortly afterwards, to have someone, preferably someone other than yourself, answer them.
1.2. Research has revealed that the main thing people wish to discern when they ask why? is, how come?
This question, here as in less enlightened times, must not be taken lightly or with salt.
1.3. These days, the most common reason how come is, broadly stated, no one knows.
There are three variants of no one knows: no one knows for sure, no one knows right now, and we’re pretty sure no one will ever know.
1.3.1. The first, no one knows for sure, is the same as saying, some people have sort of an idea? but even they don’t think it’s totally right.
1.3.2. The second, no one knows right now, implies that at some point soon it’s possible that someone who knows will maybe drop by.
1.3.3. The third, we’re pretty sure no one will ever know, means smarter people before you have gone looking into it and even they are scratching their heads about it.
1.4. After no one knows, the most common reason why is: because. The two main variants of this are: just because, and just because, I guess.
This second reason carries a faint, poignant feeling of despondency that is not there in the first one. It is common among Russians.
- To the second large question: a little thought will reveal that persons who ask how? basically want to know, what’s a good way to do it?
The three most common answers to what’s a good way to do it are: I forget exactly, don’t ask me, and let me get back to you there.
2.1. I forget exactly offers vague hope of a partial answer later on in the fullness of time.
2.2. Regarding the second answer, see above under why? and the category called nobody knows for its helpfulness.
2.3. The third, let me get back to you there (also known as “opening a repair ticket”), restarts the process with a new question: when?
- A person who asks “when” wants to know, will this happen too late to be useful to me?
3.1. Unless you are retired the answer to this is, yes.
- A fourth question people ask is where? This means, is it near me?
The answers to this are threefold: it depends if you own a helicopter, no, and I don’t understand the question.
4.1. The first two are self-explanatory.
4.2. The third is the commonest answer given by traffic apps. The best response to all three answers is to start right away.
- A fifth and sixth question that can arise even when other matters are settled are what? and who?
5.1. Half of the time, the question what? means, could you please say again your answer to how why and when?
5.2. The other half of the time, to ask what is to say: please describe the thing.
6. The answer to describing the thing is too detailed to go into, as it depends on if the thing is a Tudor-era Sumptuary Law, obscure board game rule or species of wetland amphibian.
- To ask who? is, at the end of the day, to inquire, do you know that person, and if so, who is he/she, anyway?
7.1. The answers to this are as many as the wind. By far the most common answer is, it’s someone you don’t know. They can’t help you. They won’t even talk to me and I work here.
That is a summary of the major questions that we face as we go around this world together. You would think after a thousand years of human civilization there would be more than six basic questions, like something about how pianos work, but those are them.
- In our next installment: A New Question: Wodge?
