(Transcript of Act I of the pilot episode of Baby Boomer Brain Breakers, a game show produced by A&E Productions.)
(APPLAUSE)
TOM: Thank you, and welcome to Baby Boomer Brain Breakers. Our three returning contestants are John, Beverly, and Susan. And for our first toss-up we’ll start with Movies. Ready, guys? Okay. “Who played the sister in Brian de Palma’s Scarface?” (BUZZER) John?
JOHN: You know…she has all the hair. She was in whatchamacallit, with what’s his name? He was in that other thing, with the guy who married the blonde.
TOM: Mmmm…sorry, I need more, John.
JOHN: Not the one married to the guy…She was in the thing with all the water—
TOM: There’s a lot of water. Jaws? The Last Wave? Mutiny on the Bounty? Finding Nemo–
JOHN: No, no, the crazy water. With the face. With–you know. The astronaut. I mean the astronaut guy. By whosis. The director who did the blue people.
TOM: I need an answer…
JOHN: Jane….Jane—no! LOIS something.
TOM: Ooh, no. Sorry, John. Anyone? (BUZZER) Beverly–!
BEVERLY: Mary something?
TOM: Yikes…Judges? Can we accept Mary something?….I’m sorry, Beverly, the judges are telling me that’s not enough. Susan?
SUSAN: Mary Elizabeth something?
TOM: Is right!
(APPLAUSE)
TOM: Well done! Okay, Susan, you have the Topic Board.
SUSAN: I’ll do…American History, Tom.
TOM: Okay! American History… “What deal took place in the 19th century that doubled the size of the United States?”
SUSAN: Oh. Right. In the South. The thing. What’s his name did it…Jeffrey. Thomas Jefferson…
TOM: I need an answer….
SUSAN: The Louis…The Lewis and Clark Expedition?
TOM: Ooh, no, sorry, Susan. Anyone? (BUZZER) John!
JOHN: The Something Purchase. The Point of Purchase?
TOM: No…Beverly?
BEVERLY: The Louise Something—
TOM: I–
BEVERLY: The Louise Nevelson Purchase!
TOM: No…no, sorry, guys. It’s The Louisiana Purchase. Okay, so, Susan, you still have the Topic Board.
SUSAN: Let’s do…Literature.
TOM: Great topic. Literature it is. Okay… “What American author won the Nobel Prize for writing novels about a single county in Mississippi?” Susan.
SUSAN: Oh I know this! He’s that guy! With the pipe. That Southern guy. Something Filbert. Falwell. Or Falwell Sumner something. Albert, Barry, Christopher, Charles, David, Dennis, Donald, Elliot—Elliot! Elliot Fallwell Sumner!
TOM: No, I’m afraid not. Anyone? (BUZZER) Beverly.
BEVERLY: Farley…Farley Walter? No, Walter something. Walter White? No, Walter’s his last name—no, FARLEY is his last name. Walter…Granger Walter Farley!
TOM: No…John?
JOHN: Flannery…William Henry Fla—wait! William O. Henry Flannery!
TOM: No…no, it was William Faulkner. So after the first round, we’ve got Susan in the lead. We’ll be back after this.
(COMMERCIAL)
