With the success of the Christian Rock movement, modern evangelical leaders have been looking for more ways to communicate their message to younger parishioners less burdened by the rigid cultural mores of their parents but who still retain a fundamentally conservative outlook. The result is Christian Porn: erotica intended for young married couples and singles of faith. Here are a few excerpts from some of this literary movement’s more successful titles:
ORAL SATISFACTION
by Jessica Smoots
As soon as I stepped into the bedroom I saw that look on Jerry’s face.
“Are the kids asleep?“ he whispered.
“Yes,” I answered, my voice quivering with anticipation.
“You know what I want to do, right?” he said as he moved toward the bed.
“I… I think so.”
He’d wanted me do it since we’d gotten married, at least three times a week, sometimes every night. At first it had been awkward, embarrassing, like I couldn’t wait for it to end. But lately, I had begun to… well, like it was putting it too strongly, I guess. But let’s just say I didn’t mind it so much.
“Get on your knees,” he said.
I dropped to my knees in front of the bed, my breath quickening, my mind reeling. I opened my mouth…
Then he knelt beside me and we prayed together. Hard.
GETTING FRUITFUL
By Roger Mumphrey
He kneed her legs apart and entered her. With each thrust, he felt his passion oozing upward until he knew it would soon erupt in the primal ecstasy of procreation in accordance with God’s holy plan. He couldn’t wait for it to be over with so he could begin experiencing the joys of parenthood!
“Let me get on top,” she hissed. “Maybe you’ll come faster.”
She rolled atop him and straddled him, grinding her hips against his belly. Her breasts flopped into his face. All he could think about was how someday soon those two glistening mounds of quivering flesh would be fulfilling their true purpose: suckling their child. The sizzling heat in his loins began to grow.
“Go ahead, honey, do it!”
“No!” he gasped. “The ejaculate will be working against the force of gravity and may not reach a fertilizable egg cell!”
He rolled her back over, pinned her to the mattress, ramming himself deeper, deeper, as if his organ itself were trying to somehow reach her ovaries. If only it could, he thought, they wouldn’t have to go through all this. But all he could do was trust in the Lord’s will and fuck her as hard and deep as he could.
“Want me to stick my finger up your ass? Some data indicate that prostate massage during sex may increase the flow of seminal fluid!”
“No, that’s okay… I’m… gonna… come…”
“No, not yet! You know how I want it!”
“You mean?…”
“Yes!” She flipped over and got on her knees and elbows. “The way that recent studies have concluded best optimizes the chance of semen reaching the female gametes!”
He mounted her from behind, like an animal, like the beasts of the Earth after His kind and every thing that creepeth upon the Earth. And it was good!
“Oh baby baby baby baby baby baby!”
Yes, they wanted a lot of babies.
MY PASTOR, MY MASTER
By Annabelle Tisdale
Reverend Cal was already sliding his clerical stole from around his neck when I walked into the sanctuary.
“You’re late,” he said firmly. “Close the front door.”
I hesitated a moment, started to protest, then thought better of it.
Just do what he says. You know what’ll happen if you don’t. Or even if you do…
“Somebody’s been a bad girl,” he said. “Hasn’t she?”
As I turned back to him I felt myself squirm, felt my bare thighs brush nervously against each other. My panties seemed to tighten and inch their way upward.
I nodded.
“Then say it,” he commanded me sternly.
“I’ve been bad,” I heard myself whisper. “Very bad.”
“And what happens to bad girls? Say it!”
My voice was little more than a croak as I made myself speak:
“Proverbs 13:23.”
He that spareth the rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes. Oh yes.
“It’s 13:24, not 13:23. You’re even bad at Bible verses,” he said as he folded the stole into a crop-like whip. “Now get over here.”
He sat on a pew and pointed at the floor beside him. I floated helplessly to him, as if being beckoned by some higher power, by the Lord God Himself, making me to lie down in green pastures, leading me beside the still waters, summoning me to tug my panties out of my ass crack and let them slide down around my ankles.
“Well? What are you waiting for, bad girl? Bend over.”
“Yes,” I heard myself stammer. “Yes, sir.”
The first snap of his lash on my naked flesh sent a sting up my spine. I arched my back and fought the impulse the reach back and protect my exposed bottom. You deserve this, I told myself. Yes, this and more. And more!
Hot tears seeped from between by eyelids by the time my spanking had finally, mercifully ended. I felt the soft touch of his hand cupping my scalded skin. Still firm, but gentler now, he spoke:
“You know what you’re going to do now, don’t you, bad girl?”
I fought to catch my breath before I could speak.
“I… I’m going to be good. I promise, I’ll be a good girl.”
“Then get your ass in the rectory and prove it to me.”
I wobbled to my feet and, clutching my stinging pink bottom, obediently walked down the hallway to his office. There, I finished addressing and stamping the envelopes for the Meals On Wheels fundraiser before calling congregants to remind them about the Teen Choir’s Car Wash next Saturday. Oh yes. I would be good. I would be very, very good. Unless of course I forgot to bring my macaroni side dish to the Bible Club’s Sunday Night Pot Luck…
BORN AGAIN TO BE WILD
By Kelly Jo Meeker
He held me in his strong, powerful arms and stared deeply into my eyes, deeper than any man had ever looked before. I was getting wet. And there was nothing I could do about it.
“Are you ready?” he whispered. “You still want it?”
I could only nod, but in truth I didn’t know if I could go through with this.
He leaned me backwards. I felt a delicious terror rising deep within me. This couldn’t really be happening, could it? Not to me. Not in public!
I stopped resisting and let him cradle me lovingly. My eyes closed as I felt myself getting wetter and wetter…
He lifted me from the baptismal water. I’d had a father, a son and a Holy Spirit. How could someone who’d just taken a bath still feel so dirty?
THAT DARN COMMANDMENT
By Martin Coolidge
“Harder,” she grunted. “Fuck that pussy!”
“Yeah, take it, bitch!” he snarled as his belly slapped against her bottom.
“Fuuuuck! Yeah! There! Give me all that fucking cock!”
“Work that ass, you fucking whore!”
“Oh, fuck… I’m gonna come…”
“Yeah, come for me, bitch!”
“Oh fuck, I’m coming… Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh… GOOOOOOOOOLLY!”
She reached back between her legs to play with his balls.
“Oh Gosh!” he moaned as the surge of pure ecstasy rose higher, higher, higher… “Oh Gosh Oh Gosh Oh Gosh! Oh Goodness! Oh Golly! Oh Goshhhhhh!”
He collapsed on her back, spent. Their slickened bodies were coated in sweat and slime as he rolled off her. She curled into the crook of his arm.
“Jesus Christ!” he exhaled.
“Yes, it is,” she replied. “Do you like it?”
“Very much,” he said as they lay there together staring at the new picture of Jesus Christ hanging over the bed.
“Wow. I feel like we just broke every cocksucking Commandment,” she said with a smile in her voice. “Except for the Third. Thank Goodness.”
It was true. It was one thing to take it from behind; it was quite another to take the Lord’s name in vain.
“Fuckin’ A,” he said.
DENOMINATION DOMINATION
By Denise Williker
All through dinner we were silent, tense. I sensed he was troubled, and in my heart I knew why. But I didn’t dare think that I could be right. Until, finally, he cleared his throat and spoke:
“I’ve been thinking. About… you know. What we talked about a couple of weeks ago?”
“What you talked about, you mean.” I hated the edge in my voice, but I couldn’t help it. This was the conversation I’d been dreading.
“Okay, fine, whatever. But I think we should give it a try. I think… I wish… you could just try to be a little more open-minded about it.”
“I’m sorry, Tom, but I just can’t. This goes beyond fun and games and, and… ‘experimenting.’ This goes to the very heart of what I believe.”
“But what harm could it do to just—“
“No! And stop pushing me. Stop trying to make me feel like I’m the crazy one, like I’m a… a… what did you call it? Tight-ass? It’s not like I’m not the only woman who feels this way about… that.”
He set down his fork and looked out the window, measuring his next words carefully.
“Cassie Hundstedt said she’s willing to try it with us.”
“Well, sure, Cassie Hundstedt…”
“And Donna Cooper. And Bonnie Skepinksi—“
“Did you talk to everybody about this? About our… about what you want me to… This is so humiliating!”
“Stop it! It is not! It’s something that almost everyone, even so-called ‘normal’ Christians, think about!”
“Listen to yourself, Tom! I can’t believe we’re sitting here actually talking about… about… Mormonism!”
“The Church of Jesus Christ of the Latter-Day Saints!” he snapped defensively. “And if this is about the whole polygamy thing—“
“Oh, please. Let the three of them suck it. What this is about is refuting two thousand years of traditional religious doctrine for a comparatively recent theology that’s based on little more than folklore!”
“Folklore that’s proven itself effective in such a relative brief historical time frame, as well as in a modern sociological context, merely underscores its integral power and cultural appeal! Saint Paul, Brigham Young, potato, potahto!”
We sat in silence, our dinner long since cold. Was I wrong? Could I even consider what he was suggesting and still be a good Christian wife? Shouldn’t I at least be willing to give it a try, for my husband’s sake if for no other reason? After all, it wasn’t like he was asking me to vote Democratic. Finally, he spoke again.
“Just try it once, Becka? Please? We’ll go to services together this week, and if you don’t like it I’ll never ask you to do it again, I promise. And afterwards, we’ll all come back here and have some Sarah Lee and talk about it and the four of you gals can take turns fucking me.”
That did seem reasonable. His hand reached toward mine. I felt the Lord’s holy presence fill me and, slowly, I reached to take his hand.
“Okay. Just once. But after the group sex, I’m having a Coke. With caffeine!”
He smiled.
