To the Editor:
Kindly publish this, whether you like it or not, so other people can read it. Thank you very much.
Yours truly,
David Bloom-Yastreblyansky
On Jeff Sessions
Higgledy-piggledy,
Jefferson Beauregard,
short as a fuse and a-
cute as a bird;
but for his views which are
antediluvian—
Jefferson Beauregard
Sessions the Third.
To the Editor:
We would like to make use of your publication to address a message to Black Lives Matter.
To Black Lives Matter:
If we encounter you, we will annihilate you. Granted, you will annihilate us, but be that as it may, there is nothing anyone can do about it.
Yours truly,
Black Lives Anti-Matter
To the Editor:
I have created another list, as is my custom and wont. Kindly do me the service of publishing it in your organ.
Yours faithfully,
Joseph Lister
Top Ten Better Names for a Fictional Rabbit Than Marlon Bundo, Which Strikes One as the Product of the Imagination of a Person Lacking in Cleverness, Wit, or Noticeable Skill at the Craft of Writing
10. Bunny Berrigan
9. Hedda Hopper
8. James Coney
7. Hopalong Cassidy
6. David Hare
5. Rabbit Run
4. Johnny Thumper
3. Jack Bunny
2. Senator Tom Cottontail
1. Rabbit Redford
At the Editor:
What is wrong with you? It has been established beyond doubt that articles featuring the word “penis” get ten times more hits, looks, clicks, reads, and “skims” than articles lacking the word “penis.” And yet a review of the above three letters reveals exactly zero (0) mentions of the word “penis.”
Does the Sherman Oaks Review of Books lack the courage to print the word “penis”? Well I suppose we’ll see, won’t we?
Yours truly,
Timothy Penis
Penis, PE
Mlkele
http://tinyurl.com/oall5zn
