Being the Thoughts, Disquisitions, Wisdom, Principles, and Philosophy of Life of “Richard Pmurt,”
That Being a Nom-de-Plume of Donald J. Trump, BA.
ON THRIFT
A penny saved is for losers.
A dollar saved buys no luxury condo.
He who saves gains nothing. He who borrows bigly from banks gambles with the house’s money.
A nasty lawyer assures more wealth than an honest soul.
To owe a bank a thousand dollars is your problem; to owe a bank a hundred million dollars is the bank’s problem. To owe many banks many hundreds of millions of dollars makes the banks each other’s problems.
To declare Bankruptcy once is to admit of failure. To declare Bankruptcy four times is to attain success at Bankruptcy.
ON NEGOTIATING
No deal cannot be improved by refusing to pay what one owes.
Time and fatigue and legal fees will change an adversary’s mind more than argument.
A good deal is when both sides give up something. A great deal is when it looks like you have given up something that you reclaim by refusing to honor the good deal.
To win a negotiation, one must be prepared to walk away. If the other party walks away, one must be prepared to whine at being wronged.
ON EDUCATION
It is not necessary to be educated to say, “I’m smart.”
Say “I’m smart,” and the crowd thinks you are smart and “real.” Say something actually smart, and the crowd thinks you are an egghead, and therefore not “real,” and therefore not smart.
The more you learn, the more you realize how much you don’t know. The less you learn, the more you think you know everything, which feels better.
ON MOTIVES
Scientists who want research grants seek only money and are connivers. Businessmen who want only money seek job-creation and are heroes.
It is better to be mocked, and get in the last word, than not to be mocked, and be ignored.
ON PUSSY AND ASS
One handful of pussy is better than two handfuls of ass.
It is better to marry for beauty. When it fades you can replace it.
The most important thing is to have a great piece of ass. The second most important thing is to be seen with it.
ON TRUTH
Truth, like taxes, is for the little people.
When making a sale, it is not necessary to tell the truth. When not making a sale, it is necessary either to be sleeping or to be dead.
A lie is easier and safer than the most earnest confession.
People ask you questions because they don’t know the answer. It is not up to you to tell them.
Lying is like playing the piano: you get better at it with practice, and it comes in handy at parties.
Lying is acceptable in business, and all of life is business.
ON RELIGION
For all important purposes, there is no difference between being religious and pretending to be religious.
If God truly wanted people to believe in Him, the world would not be what it is.
Morality is a series of rules invented by the weak to defend against the strong. The way to be strong is to ignore it.
ON SUCCESS
It is not enough to succeed. One must force the world to say, “You are wonderful.”
To succeed is to convince the world that you are better than you think you are.
ON POPULARITY
The way to get many people to like you is to get two-thirds of the world to hate you.
