(Reprinted from the Spring, 2016 issue of Pangram)
Beloved Colleague and Friend
With regret we announce the weekend passing of Pangram editor, beloved father, jazz lover, V. X. Quistfly.
Quistfly is survived by wife Jezebel and pets Browny, a quick fox, and Mhrf, a lazy dog.
In lieu of flowers his family requests pledges to vaccinate waxy Bürgermeister P. Jenkins Flozz.
Pundits jeered “quixotic!” when first we gamely ventured a biweekly with this crazed ambit.
Even now, fellows gaze with stark vexed awe at a major quarterly whose sentences must contain each letter of the alphabet.
Wives quibbled: reject lexicography, return to the magazine’s former name, Your Cocker Spaniel.
Glum quizzers asked what turned their favorite pet journal into a “dry alphabetic exercise.”
Subjective awkwardness, they implied, would make each quoted fact gauzily inflexible.
Bloggers proposed we junk our remit, and stop reviewing “Zangle Chudrux – A Poem” (Quistfly).
Yet, a quint of years later, we endure to the max, as if razzing from high baking pans the jests of vain Cassandras.
Glowering quidnuncs may hop on a box, but know, jealous revanchists, you have zero effect.
We at Pangram are irked by Vic’s death after a five-year jabbing headache, since his name obviated citing equinoxes or quinsy, a tonsil ill.
Ideal applicant to replace him will be a fake-glaze expert with two juveniles, Quinoa and Dayquil.
Salary quote commensurate with CV, bookish fuzz and experience boxing in pjs.
Fax queries invited, but jiggy claimant must walk to Zephyr, TX.
Bald piqued Kyrgyzstanis with reflux can just work from man cave at home.
THIS ISSUE: “A Few Jokey Mazes”; “Vexed Books”; “Living With Quinsy”; Impossible Crossword.
