Tonight’s show contains adult language and situations, gunshots, open flame, cigarette smoke, dry ice, strobe lights, disorienting odors and a brief but contentious discussion of the 1947 partition of India.
All parts may be understudied without notice by someone worse.
The performer playing Captain Surprise has appeared in plays that may have contained peanuts or peanut dust.
A production nearly identical to tonight’s performance opened in Connecticut in August, 2011 under the title Newbury Auto Show.
Act One features the (simulated) field-dressing of a mature eland. Rows 1 – 3 are in the Gastrointestinal Splash Zone.
Depending on the outcome of a coin toss during the “Dare Scene,” actors swinging chainsaws may run through aisles B and C.
Act Two contains a discussion of the “Yanny/Laurel” controversy.
When “Sully” says, “This tiger followed me home!” the audience is requested to for the love of all that’s holy sit as still as humanly possible and cover any buttery snacks.
Theatre Maudite is a proud member of About Face!, an equal-opportunity program recognizing members of the acting profession who in previous jobs worked too close to lathes, band saws and gem grinders.
Audience members in Row 1, seats 7 through 11, may be asked to extinguish “Mrs. Thornton.” They will know her when they see her.
The Caution: Baby On Board! sign is only to be taken literally during matinee performances.
Drinking from the lobby water fountain is highly not recommended.
Patrons trained in recognizing tetrodotoxin (fugu fish) poisoning will please identify themselves to an usher.
The actor playing Nedwick contains chemicals determined by the State of California to cause cancer.
WikiLeaks has revealed that our house pianist is in the Witness Protection Program with a $250,000 “price” on her head. Please welcome out new house pianist, Mrs. Gabby Murch.
Due to the #MeToo movement, tonight no one will be playing the part of Alastair.
We use the Working Homeless as ushers and concession stand personnel. Accordingly, some snack and drink containers may be empty.
In keeping with Theatre Maudite’s longstanding policy, there will be no refunds after the play has been underway long enough to judge its quality.
