Thank you for submitting your STORY to EditorMatic. Our algorithms change weekly to accommodate the preferences of FICTION EDITORS as suggested by an automated reading of over 175 LITERARY MAGAZINES.
Your story: “HOW I LOST IT”
Part 1: SPELLING / GRAMMATICAL
Correct spelling and punctuation are the doorbells on the house of publication. Please search for and check the spellings of:
TOASTS (Tastes?)
LUDMILLA (Lucy?)
SLINK (Sling?)
MINK (Ming?)
PINK (Ping?)
SINK (Sing?)
MOTHERFUCKER (Massachusetts?)
OF (Off?)
ITS (It’s?)
BELARUS (Badly Drawn Boy?)
TRICENTENNIAL (Taylor Swift?)
LOUISIANA PURCHASE (Maxipad purchase?)
Part 2: CONTENT/CONTEXT
your page #:
.3 LUDMILLA (suggest: “LUCY”) seems to be a MAJOR character, but is not referred to in the last FOUR PARAGRAPHS.
- If she isn’t DEAD, why not?
- If she is a SCARY COMPUTER ROBOT, say so.
- If she is A SHOPPING CENTER, buy something in her.
.4 If it is MUGGY why don’t your characters rub their face and say “PHEW”?
.4 MAN is killed on PAGE 3 but appears again on pages 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 and 9. If this is a different MAN, differentiate e.g. by calling him MAN WITH NOSE.
.6 If RANDY is a TEACHER, why doesn’t he KNOW LOTS OF THINGS?
.8 There is no such thing as WITH ICE CREAM. Do you mean WALNUT ICE CREAM?
.9 No SONG goes like that.
.10 (The SEASON cannot be both SUMMER and EDGARD WINTER.)
Part 3: YOUR CREATIVE DECISIONS
.1 You say: “… her lips… tasted like heaven…” Our algorithm suggests: “…TASTED LIKE THEY WERE SCRAPED OFF OLD WHALING SHIPS.”
.4 (Scene set in WILTSHIRE. Nobody who does anything is in ENGLAND.)
.5 (Unnamed woman) SIGHS. Not PROACTIVE. Suggest instead the woman LAUNCH A CLOTHING LINE.
.7 The BIRDS on this page are not described in COLOR or MILEAGE. No one cares about vague BIRDS.
.8 Avoid the passive voice. We suggest: “RAIN HIT HIM.”
.9 ALICE is haunted by the memory of THAT SUMMER. Unspecific. Algorithm suggests: “BY THE MEMORY OF SLEEPING WITH THE MANATEE MOUNTED OVER HER FIREPLACE.”
.10 ALICE and MICK eat POPCORN. We suggest instead they eat THE REMAINS OF THE MAN.
.11 ALICE “wanted above all to… teach the world…” Trademarked phrase, Coca-Cola, 1971. Suggest instead: ALICE “wanted above all to… RULE AUSTRALIA.”
PART 4: YOUR ENDING
.15 It wouldn’t end that way. Our algorithm suggests: “THEN THEY DISCOVERED THAT EVERYONE ELSE WAS FROGS, FROGS, FROGS, FROGS, FROGS, FROGS, FROGS AND A ROBOT SO THEY LAID DOWN SOME SUPPRESSING FIRE AND BLA-DOW! THE SPACE STATION EXPLODED UNTIL NEXT WEEK.”
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