During this time of coronavirus lockdown, The New York Times’s wedding announcements have taken to including descriptions of both where the wedding was originally slated to take place, and how the ceremony actually occurred.
Abby Corie and Fred Mellior were married last night in the hallway of their apartment building in New York City. The groom proposed after examining the bride’s health coverage.
The ceremony was performed by their socially distant neighbor across the hall, Fred G. Baron, in 8C, whom they had only nodded to on prior occasions and whose name they only knew from the label on his mailbox downstairs. Baron, who had become a minister online only a few minutes before, was on his way to the garbage chute when he was asked to officiate at the nuptials.
The Wedding that the bride dreamed of was to take place at the Plaza Hotel and was to include a rose petal cannon. The wedding that her family was willing to pay for was being argued about but, according to the bride’s father, was to take place “over my dead body” at a location to be determined. The Groom had no opinion, nor was he asked for one.
The bride wore a face mask made from a cashmere scarf that her grandmother, Irene Corie of Piscataway, New Jersey, had regifted to her. During the ceremony, the couple’s phones played the outgoing voicemail message of the bride’s father, then of the groom’s parents. Both were in response to the calls, made by the bride and groom respectively, inviting their parents to participate in the ceremony, either on speaker or, pending suitable arrangements with someone’s laptop, via Zoom. Neither of the calls were answered, as the future in-laws didn’t recognize the number and assumed it was a spam call.
Among the witnesses was Caesar, the couple’s mini-goldendoodle, as well as the occupant of 8D, who was waiting for the elevator at the time. His name is being withheld at his request.
Ms. Corie, who will retain her last name and her health insurance for as long as possible, was a retail associate for a department store that was dying but that the government may be bailing out.
She is a daughter of Maxine and Joseph Corie. The bride’s father’s company, an auto parts supplier with headquarters in lower Manhattan, has been the recipient of 9-11 related funds, the 2008 bailout, and has applied for Covid-19-related small business loans. He has also been the recipient of awards from several class action lawsuits. Her mother was a professional gambler in small-stakes mahjong games throughout the Tri-State area, and was a stay-away/uninvolved parent with a fondness for gin and Darvon. She passed away under suspicious circumstances in 2011. The next month her father married Gina Belloni, his only employee.
Mr. Mellior is a content creator. Previously he had been a free-lance writer. His work has appeared on various consumer websites in the customer comments section. He graduated with honors in Linguistics from Columbia University.
He is a son of Deborah and Derek Mellior of Pittsburgh, PA. His father retired from looking for a job in 2003. His mother hasn’t left the house since before the groom was born at home. The groom’s paternal grandfather was known for changing his name from Mellinitsky to Mellior.
The couple, who met on the dating app Bumble when the groom mis-typed in “bungle” on Google, will spend their honeymoon having cocktails in both rooms of their apartment. As a wedding gift to themselves, the groom sprung for the seven-day free trial to Disney Plus, so they can watch the entire Star Wars saga and The Mandalorian during their honeymoon confinement. “I’m really looking forward to it,” the groom said.
Joseph Gage
https://tinyurl.com/q5bfg63
