The Sherman Oaks Review of Books would like to apologize to its readers for its seemingly insatiable obsession with Donald Trump.
Last Friday we published our 350th article mocking Trump, his wife, his ex-wives, his children, his ex-children, his clothing, his businesses, his homes, his golf courses, his hair, his short fingers, his jet, his health both physical and mental, his followers, his staff, and his campaign. We have 84 more articles fully edited and waiting to be published in 23 languages. They include:
- “Trump’s Top Ten Tasty Tapas”
- “Kellyanne Conway’s Prom Diary”
- “Learn Accordion the MELANIA TRUMP Way”
- “Katrina Pierson’s Home Improvement Tips”
- “Chart: Erik and Donald, Jr. – Menendez, Hussein, or Patrick Batemans?”
- Excerpt: “A Doctor’s Life, by Dr. Harold Bornstein, M.D.”
- TRUMP! The Official In-Flight Magazine of Trump’s Personal Jet
- “Complete List of Donald Trump’s cell phone apps”
- “Steve Bannon and John Miller Discuss: Journalism Today”
- Transcript: “Ivanka Trump’s Kickstarter Video”
- Transcript: “Ivanka Trump’s TED Talk”
- Transcript: “Ivanka Trump’s and Jared Kushner’s Oldest Son’s Bar Mitzvah Speech”
- Transcript: “Donald Trump’s Dream Journal”
- Transcript: “Donald Trump’s Inaugural Address”
- “Barron Trump’s First Twenty Tweets”
- “Leave-Behind” Pitch Document, Donald Trump’s Next Television Project, I Love Women & Women Love Me
- Excerpt: Revised Introduction to Ann Coulter’s In Trump We Trust Showing Tracked Changes
- Act I of pilot script for television medical drama BORNSTEIN, M.D.
- Artefact: “Trump’s Index Card Notes for First Debate”
- Punch List, White House Renovation for First Trump Administration
The timeliness and relevance of this avalanche of Trump articles are self-evident. Nonetheless, we’re sorry. We know we should be publishing articles about many other urgent topics, such as Hillary Clinton, Hope Solo, Zika, and Ben-Hur (The remake. Note to editorial self: Ben-Hur as comedy about Biblical-era sarcastic teen, entitled Ben-Hurr), and “superfoods.”
But it’s difficult. It’s difficult, not only to focus on any topic other than Donald Trump, but to truly believe that there is any topic other than Donald Trump. When a maniac invades your house wielding a big bag of champagne-colored toupees and a flame thrower, it’s almost impossible to pay attention to anything else.
Nonetheless, we pledge to try. By that we mean, we pledge to try to try. But from now until the election, we can’t promise anything. That is, we can pledge, but we can’t promise. Our position hasn’t changed; only the words we’re describing it with have changed. And why not? We have the best words. Oh never mind.
http://tinyurl.com/q5bfg63
Gage Skidmore
