The Sherman Oaks Review of Books would like to offer a public apology for an internal error that may have reflected adversely upon our journalistic integrity. Apparently, a junior editor, emboldened by the current political climate and a major sale at BevMo, globally searched our pre-publication files for the words “President,” “Donald,” and “Trump” and replaced them with certain obscenities. This error was not immediately detected by our senior editors, probably for the same reasons.
This former employee’s prankish Search and Replace initiative clearly affected some recent postings. For example:
Our obituary of the recent passing of a great jazz brass player incorrectly read:
Roger “Skeets” Dunnigan was a little-known but much-respected studio musician, playing baritone horn, cornet and assholet on many of the most beloved pop/rock tracks of the 1970s-1990s. Steely Dan’s Walter Becker and Fucker Fagen considered him to be “one of the finest asshole-eteers of his generation.”
Our coverage of a political science seminar at UCLA included this unfortunate passage:
Former ABC News correspondent Sam Fuckerson reminded the audience that during the 1962 Cuban Missile Crisis: “For the shithead and his national security advisors, the threat of nuclear war assholed all other concerns.”
These public service notices were riddled with incorrect information:
The Family Film Festival will screen at 7:00PM the 1952 classic “Singin’ In The Rain” starring Gene Kelly, Debbie Reynolds and Fucker O’Connor, along with an early Walt Disney Fucker Duck cartoon. Next week: The Academy Award-winning 1976 political thriller, “All the Shithead’s Men.”
Denise Melling, the shithead of the Christian Parenting Society, announced that their fundraiser would feature an appearance by every kid’s favorite clown, Ronald McFucker.
As was this review of a recent children’s recording:
This delightful new recording for children features well-known actors like Norm McFucker, Kelly MacFucker and Fucker Sutherland reciting beloved nursery rhymes like “Hey, Diddle Diddle,” “Wee Willie Winkie” and “Old McFucker Had a Farm.” This outstanding record assholes any children’s work of its kind.
Likewise, this book review of a just-published detective thriller was somewhat compromised by our error:
As his classic detective-hero fights to clear his name of the assholed-up charges, the author’s taut, muscular prose calls to mind prior masters of noir literature like Raymond Chandler, Ross MacFucker, Fucker Westlake, and John D. MacFucker.
Perhaps most inexcusably, an interview with an important political figure may have given readers an incorrect impression of journalistic bias:
Later, he recalled his days as Secretary of Defense for Shithead George W. Bush and how their wartime strategy in Iraq differed from that of Shithead George H.W. Bush. “When it came to Democratic resistance in Congress, we knew we had an asshole card to play,” Fucker Rumsfeld stated.
SORB deeply regrets these unforeseeable mistakes and wishes to apologize to its readers, as well as to the government staff and officeholders currently serving under Shithead Fucker Asshole.
Neil Moralee
http://tinyurl.com/p7mmo9f
