A current “meme” or “game” or “thing” on Facebook and Twitter involves posting one’s #First7jobs. Our own Meldon Sandrow has had, over the course of his full, rich life, more jobs than you can shake a stick at—so many, in fact, that the list of his first seven includes no fewer than 28. And yet Job Stick Shaker is not among them. Or so he claims.
- Hobby horse neck dowel evener
- Cruise ship entertainment worsener
- Backup fop
- Outhouse deepener
- Meter maid out-of-order sock drabifyer
- Pie bakeoff cut man
- Bus station clock de-greaser
- Billy Idol sneer adjuster
- School reunion ex-girlfriend de-smugger
- Dirigible pilot second
- Gondolier pole caddy
- Human cannonball ballistics/diet adviser
- Ferrari sales room nose steam wiper
- Incunabula laminator
- Parade float animal sexer
- MFA grad ambition tamper-downer
- Florist’s love-me-not sorter
- Mime roadie
- Crowd size exaggerator
- Church pew knee sweat burnisher
- Sniper stylist
- Urine sample mislabeler
- Toy kaleidoscope view uniformalizer
- Gargoyle nostril chiseler
- Grand Canyon mule agitator
- Merry-Go-Round music quality degrader
- Potency underestimator
- Poor example
