Dear Kellyanne Conway,
How are you? I am fine. This morning we beat Bunk 9 in softball. I played second base. I made a couple good plays. They had a guy on first and I got a ground ball and threw it to second for a double play, and it would have worked but stupid Todd the shortstop wasn’t there and the ball went into the outfield. Oh well. Anyway. We won and I got two hits.
How come you’re such a big liar? Nothing you say is ever true. Is this a sickness or disease, or just you decided, I am going to lie about everything cause that is my job?
I made a lanyard in Arts and Crafts. It’s a neat color turkoize although nobody really knows what to do with a lanyard once you finish it. Vic our counselor says, Put a key on it. WHAT KEY?
Do you have keys to the White House? John, who is Vic’s friend, is counselor of Bunk 14, which is the older kids, so he was visiting Vic in his cubby in the back and I heard him say, That Kellyanne Conway, she is the Cunt of the World. What does this mean? It must mean a bad thing because Vic lauffed and told him to keep his voice down.
Anyway, it might rain tomorrow which means we’ll have indoor activities. They’re okay but it gets kind of boring.
We had turkey sandwiches for lunch today. They are kind of dumb, on that stupid white bread with this gloppy gravy. Do you have good food at the White House? If people say, How was lunch? Do you say, It was delicious even though it wasn’t, because you lie all the time?
Vic says you have kids. Do they lie too? Can you tell? Or do you believe them and then its like, Kids, you lied to me! And they say, Duh! Mom! You lie to everybody so of COURSE we do.?
That’s it for now.
Love,
Ellis
Dear Kellyanne Conway,
How are you? I am fine. One good thing about when it rains is, no swimming. I hate swimming. The lake is really cold and I’m always in the Beginners class. I can’t keep a-float and I don’t see how you can do it!
My plan is to just go to Waterfront and wait until camp is over and then tell people I can swim when they ask. It will be a lie, but they won’t know that, right? You work in the White House and are on TV and you lie, so so what? Can you swim? But if you said, Yes, I can, COULD I BELIEVE IT?
John was here again a little while ago during Rest Period and said to Vic, How come they have that bitch on TV? You know everything she says is bullshit. Vic said Shh and we all heard it and lauffed. So John comes to the door of Vic’s cubby and says to us, Guys, don’t ever talk like I do. At least not while you’re in Bunk 9. When you’re older and in Bunk 14, okay. But not now. Although if somebody asks you, Who is Kellyanne Conway, you’re allowed to say, She is the Cunt of the World.
Vic yelled at him and we all lauffed. I still don’t know what that means. Is it bad? It should be. Does it mean the Liar of the World? Never mind. I won’t believe your answer.
We have Archery after Rest Period.
Love,
Ellis
Dear Kellyanne Conway,
How are you? I am fine. Guess what? John got in trouble! One of his campers told his parents what he said about YOU and the dad was mad and called the Director and he yelled at John. Vic told us after John told him. Vic said John said, The Director didn’t like my language. The Director said, You shouldn’t call Kellyanne Conway the Cunt of the World in front of the campers. She’s the Cunt of the Universe but you can’t SAY THAT.
Isn’t that funny? Although what does it mean? Does the universe know you’re a big liar? I asked Vic but he said don’t worry about it.
We had Nature this morning. Boring.
Visitors Day is next week. It’ll be nice to see my parents. I may tell them I’m writing you letters but maybe not. They think you’re a big liar, which, I’m like, I KNOW, but still. They may not want me to write to you. Steve, who is in my bunk, asked me if you wrote back. I said no. He said, How do I know you’re not lying?
Thanks a lot!
Love,
Ellis
Gage Skidmore
http://tinyurl.com/q5bfg63
