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Oh My Jolly Goodness My Sheets Are On Fire

Oh My Jolly Goodness My Sheets Are On Fire

The Paraprofessional Healthcare Institute estimates that by 2020 the direct-care workforce will become the largest profession in the U.S.  According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, 1.3 million more senior caregivers will be needed by 2027.  As foreign-born professionals help fill this gap, we will increasingly put our parents into the care of persons for whom English is a second language.

The Sherman Oaks Review Of Books is pleased to print an excerpt from an upcoming book containing phrases for children to teach their parents in preparation for the most vulnerable period of their retirement.

From BOZHE MOI, MOI LISTY GORYAT!   Oh My Jolly Goodness My Sheets Are On Fire!  Phrases in 15 Languages to Memorize for Your Golden Years (2018; Rando House)

[Russian (R), Croatian (C), Somali (S), Haitian Creole (H), Tagalog/Filipino (T), German (G), French (F)]

 Na koji dan oni mijenjaju moj torzo zavoj?  Je li uscuro?  (C)
What day do they change my torso bandage?  Is it soon?

 Eti odeyala izognuty ot moyego pota   (R)
These blankets are crusty from my effusions.

Ang aking pamilya ay palaging Demokratiko  (T)
My family were lifelong Democrats.

Tanpri sispann fimen marigwana ak zanmi ou yo ak manje m’  (H)
Please stop smoking dope with your friends and feed me.

Anigu ma ahan xayawaan, waxaan ahay nin  (S)
I am not an animal, I am a human being.

Sapat na ODPixel at SirActionSlacks, mangyaring i-on ang balita (T)
Enough Manila rap, please put on the news.

Etot kofe (/chay) v osnovnom mocha  (R)
This coffee (/tea) is mostly urine.

Ya ne zhaluyus’…  (R)
Not that I’m complaining…

Bitte, jede Art von Flüssigkeit, überhaupt keine  (G)
Please, any kind of liquid, any at all

Mwen pa vle yo nan ‘videyo komik’ ou (H)
I don’t want to be in your ‘funny video.’

Ya ne budu davat’ vam svoy parol’ Beetcoin nezavisimo ot togo, skol’ko pal’tsev vy slomayete  (R)
I will not give you my Bitcoin password no matter how many toes you break.

Ich rieche, deshalb wasch mich bitte  (G)
I reek, therefore please swab me.

Bustaha korontada ayaa sameynaya xumbada calyadayda  (S)
The electric blanket is making my spit bubble.

Jako ou jete m ‘ak pecks m’ pou sèl (H)
Your parrot disgusts me and pecks me for salt.

S’il vous plaît maintenant retirer le chiffon bouillant de mes organes génitaux  (F)
Please now remove the boiling rag from my genitals.

Nazovite tu osobu da prestane vrištati, dvadeset i četiri sata dnevno (C)
Kindly tell that person to stop screaming 24 hours a day.

Mwen pa renmen tout cheve nan tèt mwen nan dreadlock tankou sa a (H)
I do not like my hair in dreads like this.

Dumating ang mga apo ko. Mangyaring itago ang aking mga ngipin (T)
My grandchildren are coming, hide my teeth now.

Sa tingin ko ay nagkaroon ako ng stroke habang ikaw ay nanonood ng telebisyon (/YouTube)  (T)
I think I had a stroke while you were watching TV (/YouTube).

Je vous donnerai votre morceau de puzzle manquant quand vous me donnez mon téléphone   (F)
I will give you your missing jigsaw piece when you give me my phone.

Some other essential phrases in the book:

Those strangers just put their photos in my wallet.
I ate the foam stuffing from my pillow because nobody came for a day.
No I do not want to watch ‘Misery.’
I know cat food when I smell it.
My doctor says I should not be washed with Pine Sol.
That is not lipstick, it is security guard tire-marking chalk.
Please Swiffer my dusty abdomen.
No, I need both of my kidneys, I am certain.
I do not fit in that suitcase, I think.

operation_janet
http://tinyurl.com/ndp3cbj